WHY WE ARE SINGLE?
Why are we single?
I get this question a lot and it really makes me wonder why I am single?! Not only why am I single but why are WE – ambitious, clever and attractive people– single?
I have realized that when people pry into our private lives and ask us about our relationship status they often try to tell us why we are "alone." Here is a list of reasons of why we are single according to others:
“You are too picky”
I don’t understand how wanting someone who is as equally ambitious qualifies you as being picky. Last time I checked, looking for a partner that is intelligent, religious, athletic and attractive are not high standards. It is hard for us women to find a partner that can meet our realistic measures. Please…stop telling us that we are single because we have “high standards.”
“You don’t make it a priority”
This reasoning for really bothers me. How do you make love a priority? Finding someone that understands and values you is not a task you put on your weekly to do list. You can’t check the “complete box” once you found someone to date. If I was in control and made dating a priority then I would be married to a GQ-esque man by 28 and having kids by 33.
“You love your life too much”
You are damn right! Are we not supposed to love life? We have self-worth and take pride in the life we are creating. We are building empires over here! The person I date need to be pretty amazing and add a significant amount of value to my life.
“You are too Independent and successful”
Unfortunately, in our society a successful woman is not considered attractive for her mind. She is perceived as intimidating and unwanted because of her independence and intellect. Ridiculous cultural stereotypes like these are truly boils my blood.
“You are too busy”
Just because we are busy, however, doesn’t mean that we don't want to date. We will make room and time for someone WHEN we find someone worth dating!
“You don’t give online dating a shot”
I have tried online dating. It was a horrible experience. Online dating is supposed to make dating quicker and straightforward. It does not though. Online dating makes people have cynicism when it comes to meeting new people.
For example, online dating promotes catfishing. People consciously or unconsciously trick you into seeing a better version of themselves. They may seem wholesome and fun virtually but in-person they are obnoxious, condensing, and distracted. They might not be who they say they are at all!
In addition to catfishing being a problem, online dating does not work for a lot of people because it is not effective. There is a small percentage of people that go on to form long lasting and sustainable relationships. So, yes I did give online dating a shot and I will not make that mistake again!
While I find other’s input on my dating life to be frustrating, I shake their comments off. I will find love whenever it is time, God willing. I am in no rush to get married NOW. I am in my prime and having fun enjoying what life has to offer with my friends and family.
Question: Do/did people try to tell you why you are single? If so, what did they say? What was your response?
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Until Next Time,